I'm Polyamorous

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

From Wikipedia: Polyamory

When I first started dating for real I intensely wanted to date these three young women who were close friends (one of them turned out to be the first woman I would marry, Jessica*). I crushed on them all relatively equally (in my mind I wanted to date them together and separately). I didn't end up dating all of them, but the idea stuck with me.

Date Prep

Because Barbara asked: what do butches do differently to prepare for a date?

I can't really answer that. I did talk a bit about what I do, though.

My original answer (over twitter) was “I shower, shave, lotion, hair, try on 4 outfits, choose first one (usually), makeup, scent. start to finish… 40 min – 2 hrs”

I obviously didn’t say everything in that tweet.

Things I missed:

I share my apartment, so I generally don’t have a date over.

I think of eyebrows and nails as general maintenance. I keep my brows neat and my nails short and smooth. In the summer I polish my toes. I don’t polish my fingers (a habit I picked up working in kitchens).

Valentine's Day

I don't do Valentine's Day. Not because of some political reason—I am absolutely infatuated with love in all of its forms—or because I'm bitter and alone—I haven't been unpartnered on Valentine's Day since 1990.

The monosyllable: what's your favorite?

My current favorite alternate word for 'vulva':


"female intercrural foramen," or, as some 18c. writers refer to it, "the monosyllable," M.E. cunte "female genitalia," akin to O.N. kunta, from P.Gmc. *kunton, of uncertain origin. Some suggest a link with L. cuneus "wedge," others to PIE base *geu- "hollow place," still others to PIE *gwen-, root of queen and Gk. gyne "woman." The form is similar to L. cunnus "female pudenda" (also, vulgarly, "a woman"), which is likewise of disputed origin, perhaps lit. "gash, slit," from PIE *sker- "to cut," or lit. "sheath," from PIE *kut-no-, from base *(s)keu- "to conceal, hide." First known reference in English is said to be c.1230 Oxford street name Gropecuntlane (attested through late 14c.), presumably a haunt of prostitutes. Avoided in public speech since 15c.; considered obscene since 17c.

From Online Etymology Dictionary

I absolutely adore that it could derive from the proto-Indo-European root for queen.

So, what's your favorite word or phrase?