Valentine's Day

I don't do Valentine's Day. Not because of some political reason—I am absolutely infatuated with love in all of its forms—or because I'm bitter and alone—I haven't been unpartnered on Valentine's Day since 1990.

I don't do Valentine's Day because of some really awful memories from my time with my first wife.

I try to appreciate my girlfriends, occasionals, and partners for who they are and love them all the time—no matter what the date. I don't think my way of showing appreciation matches everyone's desires, but it is something I am comfortable with and I feel like I can back it up with my actions throughout the year.

The truth is that I really want to make every moment I am spending with others special (in bed or out—I don't only do sex, after all). I'm attentive and loving. I think that's a good way to be.

So, if you celebrate Valentine's Day, have a happy one. If you don't—for whatever reason—have a great day and remember that you don't have to love the holiday, but love is a truly great thing and should be encouraged.


  1. I have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. I've been single for V Day since 2006. I've dated over the last years, but never at this time of year, for some reason. I don't like the pressure to have a "perfect" day, but I do like the idea of paying special attention to your girlfriend/partner/spouse on that day. Yes, of course, you should do it all along but real life intrudes. We start focusing on the laundry, paying bills, work, whatever. Having a day that refocuses us is good. But dear GOD, don't spend $100 on roses or take me out to dinner. That's crazy. :)

  2. Well, $100 on roses is ridiculous. Much better to spend that money on chocolates. :P

    I may just be different than most people—and I readily accept that. Possibly because I spread my time among people, my goal is to always make my SOs feel special and appreciated by setting aside quality time to spend with them, even when there are other real life responsibilities. Does it always work? No, of course not, but it is a nice ideal for me to live up to and it works for us more often than not. I've never had anyone I've been involved with complain that she didn't feel appreciated and adored, anyway.

    That said, I don't think there's anything wrong with Valentine's Day. After all, any excuse to show love and appreciation is a good one. I do have a problem with how it's marketed, but that's a whole different post (probably for another year).