Successful Relationships

When I talk about polyamory, I often get told something along the lines of "that's fine in theory, but it's too unstable. There's no way to have a successful relationship like that."

Let's leave aside the many people who do have long term polyamorous relationships. They exist, but as far as I can tell that's beside the point. Let's talk instead about what a successful relationship is.

Not every relationship needs to follow the happily-ever-after paradigm. Getting married is not the end goal of every relationship. That doesn't mean that those relationships that end at some point are less successful. My most successful relationships have been ones which only lasted a few months or a few years. We communicated, we shared our time and our selves, and we loved without reservation. To me, that's success.

I don't need every relationship to end in a co-mingling of households. I don't want to live with everyone I fall in love with. I can appreciate them for who they are, for how we interact, and for how they love me. In many ways that's easier when we know there isn't going to be a white picket fence at the end.

All of that comes with communication, shared understanding, love, and empathy. That is what makes a successful relationship, not necessarily years or shared living space.

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