Today I had a brief jealousy flail.

It happens to all of us. Someone we want to spend time with makes other plans. For me, it happens most when I expect to have time with one of my girlfriends and she's not available.

Jealousy can be seen as a sign that our needs aren't being met in some way. That's certainly been true for me. I don't want use of my girlfriends' time on demand (though it is nice when it works out that something can happen last minute). Sometimes even I forget the cardinal rule of poly relationships: communicate. Unspoken expectations are the real culprit.

Of course, there's the second rule in complex polyamorous relationships, which would have helped: schedule everything in advance.

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